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Rant on ‘X-Men: First Class’

22 Apr

When I hear the phrase, “X-Men: First Class”, I think of the original X-Men team.

Professor X, Angel, Beast, Cyclops, Iceman, and Jean Grey.

Not this rubbish;

Looks like fun, right?

From what I can surmise from the trailer, the movie takes place in October 1962, during the Cuban missile crisis (there’s a day by day timeline here.).

On October 22 at 7:00 pm, President Kennedy delivered a nation-wide televised address on all of the major networks announcing the discovery of the missiles.

It shall be the policy of this nation to regard any nuclear missile launched from Cuba against any nation in the Western Hemisphere as an attack by the Soviet Union on the United States, requiring a full retaliatory response upon the Soviet Union

So, there’s the plot.

First of all, the movie doesn’t look like it was set in the 1960s. It looks like 2011.

Whatever.

Nothing about this film makes any sense.

Especially the age of the characters. The cast is a anachronistic mish-mash. Some of them shouldn’t be in this timeline simple. Some wouldn’t be born until decades later.

"Not even my incredible mind can make sense of this awful plot!"

Here’s the cast of characters;

Let’s break this down bit by bit.

Charles Xavier and Magneto are perfectly suited to be the center of any X-Men story of this time period. Chuck and Erik were still friend, but I must demand the Xavier become a paraplegic by Erik’s hands by the end of this film.

“We’re going to be doing one thing, and one thing only. Killing Nazis”… Wait, wrong movie.

Beast is also perfectly acceptable in a film about the formation of the X-Men. My problem is that he is the only original team member in this movie.

By the way, the X-Men didn’t have the X-Jet at this point. So why is it in the film? The real-world SR-71 was still in development.

They’ve been using the same plane since 1962!

Moira MacTaggert is a good character for this film, since she was Xavier’s early love-interest. The silent partner in the founding of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters and co-creator of Cerebro. However, in the film she’s a CIA liaison (WTF!) to the team. However, with the addition of Banshee, her stable love interest after Chuck and Mr. MacTaggert, things could be complicated. Both characters are the correct age for the film, but Banshee is shown as a kid. An American kid.

Sebastian Shaw and his Hellfire Club a bit weird to have in this movie (The Club, and its members, were introduced in 1980). Regardless, he’s an ageless villain. I would like point out, however, that Emma Frost would be a child in 1962. The recent Wolverine movie, Emma was shown to be a young teen in 1979. Geez….

Apparently, the White Queen has always been 35.

The addition of Mystique is fine (she would already be rather old in 1962). However, she’s a villain. (Same for Azazel.)

Darwin is a pointless new character (he was introduced in February 2006). He’s one of Moira MacTaggert ’foster’ mutants and was created for a few plot lines that consists of him being super-loyal to Xavier.

Suddenly Darwin is just 'the Token Black guy', not half-African, half-Latino.

Havok is the younger brother of  Cyclops. So, the writers decided it was a bad idea to have Cyclops in this movie, but a good idea to have his little brother. But according to executive producer for the movie Bryan Singer, Havok will not be portrayed as Cyclops’ brother in the film. So, my question is why didn’t they just use Cyclops!

Thanks to ‘Twilight’, Havok tests better with female audiences.

Riptide  is a villainous character who works for Mr. Sinister’s Marauders. Without appearing with the rest of the Marauders, and explaining the Gambit/Mr. Sinister plot line decades before it happens.

Tempest aka Housefly Girl with an Afro (She’s called Angel in this film) was a 14-year-old when her character was introduced in 2001. So, she is certain too young to shown as a teen/young woman in 1962.

Getting rid of Angel’s afro and dark skin made her SOOO 1960′s!

Conclusion:

Ultimately I don’t understand why these X-Men movie directors and writers are continuing to ignore 40+ years of source material. In all the X-Men movies so far, they’ve mad up non-sensible stories with most of the characters out of there original context.

Why does Catwoman look like Audrey Hepburn?

22 Feb

Does this face look familiar?

The modern Catwoman

I was completely confused when I found out that Anne Hathaway was casted as Catwoman in the upcoming Batman movie.

Hathaway doesn’t look anything like the previous woman who have put on the suit; Eartha Kitt, Julie Newmar, Julia Rose, Michelle Pfeiffer, or Halle Berry.

So, Andrew suggested that I look at the most recent comic book version of Catwoman.

Audrey Hepburn is Catwoman?

Well… In the current comic books, Catwoman looks just like Audrey Hepburn!

Anne Hathaway has similar features to Audrey Hepburn; round face, big soft brown eyes, and a mischievous look.

Anne Hathaway

With that in mind, I guess Hathaway is a great fit for the role!

Romantic mush from film noir

13 Feb

Movie poster for "Dark Passage"

Hands down, Humphrey Bogart is my favorite actor (I’ve written about it before). Last year, I wrote a fan letter to his wife Lauren Bacall and got her autograph.

Those two were other-worldly together… I imagine that Bogie is waiting up in heaven for her, with his hat in his hands and when that day happens, he’ll say something corny like “Baby, I’ve missed you. Let me make you a martini.

Valentine’s Day is coming up, so I thought I would post my favorite movie ending of all time. It’s from “Dark Passage” made in 1947.
In context, it’s amazingly romantic dialog, so bear with me!

This is Allan.

Where are you? Are you all right?

Are you alone?

Yes.

Well, it was Madge who killed them both, but I’ll never be able to prove it.I went up there for a showdown, and she admitted it, but she stumbled and fell through the window. It’ll be in the afternoon papers. You’ll read that I pushed her out…but I want you to know how it really was.

I know how it was.

Do I hear music?

Yes, I picked it out on the jukebox.

You didn’t just call me to tell me about Madge. There’s something else you want me to know.

I never could fool you, could I?
I’m just beginning to realize, it’s better to have something to look forward to. Can you get a map of South America?

I’ll find one.

Look up Peru. There’s a little town on the coast called Paita.
Say it. Tell me where it is.

Paita, in Peru.

Good. Now listen. I won’t write. We’ve got to wait. We’ve got to give it plenty of time. Maybe they’ll get a lead on you or keep an eye on you for a while.

I’ll be careful. Go on.

Meanwhile, if God’s good to me and I manage to make it down there, I’ll be waiting for you. There’s a little café right on the bay. If you could see your way clear… Listen to all those ”ifs.”

We’ll skip all the ”ifs.” I get the idea, and that’s all I need.
Now hang up on me. Just like that. Hang up, darling.

 

If you’re curious, here’s the original movie trailer to “Dark Passage”.

This trailer was made by Fox Classics movie channel a few years ago.

Vintage pic of the day: The Chess Champ

10 Feb

"Here, Baby, watch me checkmate this guy."

Today’s picture: Bogie, holding Baby’s wrist as he decides his next move.

(He usually called Bacall “Baby,” even when referring to her in conversations with other people!)

He played tournament chess, one level below master level, and often played with crew members and cast off his movie sets.

Movie night

14 Oct

I caught a cold, so I stayed in and watched a movie tonight.

Andrew brought a friend over, but I wouldn’t surrender the TV!

So, they had to watch the last half of ‘Key Largo’ with me.

It’s a more sentimental movie starring Mr. & Mrs. Bogart.

By the way… Did you know that Lauren Bacall FINALLY won an Academy Award last year?!

Not bad for 85 years old!

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